My initial grief, streaked with cheek-wetting tears, has percolated into a numbness of unwilling submission. I opened my blog page to see my last post that I had written on the heartache of losing a dearly loved person. And my only reaction was ‘What a badly written load of crap.’

Somebody had told me once that a person who cries when a loved one dies cries not for the person who has died but for his own grief and feeling of emptiness. He cries because of his inherent selfishness and not because of an altruistic understanding of the loss that is that person’s death.

Now I can’t decide whether my reaction today proved that I have attained the pinnacle of human altruism or whether I have finally become the epitome of cold-hearted bitchiness.