Today, after a long long time, I feel the sudden urge to write. There was a time when I wrote frequently. It was not really an effort. I wanted to write. For the past few months I have not felt like writing. I have posted a few times but it has been more out of the habit of the past two years. Today I want to talk.

There has been a lot going on in my life. There have been too many ups and too many downs. In April-May, I finally managed to do a one-month back-packing trip in Europe, my dream of many years. That was wonderful. I came back to see my dog waste away till we finally put her to sleep in June. Perhaps one of the saddest times in my life.

My father got transferred to Bombay and the four of us (Mamma, Papa and my brother) got an opportunity to live together again. A high. My father and brother had operations (major and minor respectively). A low.

Professionally things were good, I got promoted. A high. Didn’t get as good a raise as I expected. A low.

My friend’s marriage got fixed. A high. Two of my friends’ marriages broke up. A low.

A very very old friend of mine (my best friend in school) got back in touch with me after a gap of more than 10 years. A high. I lost a friend who thought that since we did not have perfect understanding between us, I should ‘move on’. A low.

Tell me, is there anything called perfect understanding? I have not had that with anyone in my life. There are just some people I relate to better. But perfect understanding? Never. Even with my father, who has seen me grow up, I have misunderstandings. And that, when I am so close to him. Aren’t misunderstandings a part of relationships? It is up to the two individuals to decide that the relationship matters to them and to make an effort to understand each other better. Somebody tell me what this perfect understanding is. Does it exist? If yes, where am I going wrong?