I have been accused of floccinaucinihilipilification several times this year by many of my friends.
I claim ‘Not guilty’. My friendships are important to me. All my friends matter. Truly.
And hence to prove my innocence, my New Year resolution is to take everyone’s calls next year. Better still, I shall call people on my own without any prodding from them.
Here’s to ‘connecting’!

Let’s get some things straight. When I ask you “So what are you doing for New Year’s Eve?”, I am doing small talk. I am not asking you out!

I am not your girl
I am not even your friend
So let’s not argue
And let us not pretend

When you’re low and down
You allow me to hold your hand
But when your world’s rosy
Do you know how far away you stand

I am not complaining
Don’t get me wrong
I am just saying that
This can’t go on too long

Too many tears have been shed
Too many long sighs
I have come back too many times
After well-intended goodbyes

I am losing my self respect
But it is not your fault at all
I need to right my own life
And stand proudly tall

I won’t say goodbye this time
I’ll leave quietly without a sound
Perhaps you might not even notice
That I am no longer around

One day you might just think of me
Oh, you’ll say, I once hung out with her
And then I’ll fade into your memory
And become an obscured blur

“What the hell! Life goes on. And maybe there won't be marriage. Maybe there won't be sex. But by God, there will be dancing.”

~My best friend’s wedding

obscured says: how’s it going with the two of you?
friend says: yeah he is very sweet, and i always give him a hard time. poor thing
obscured says: so u guys talk abt the future and all?
friend says: yeah we talk abt the future
obscured says: and?
friend says: but not the future of our relationship per se
obscured says: then what future... like global warming and all?
friend says: yeah more like that :)

Damn all men to hell!!!!

Well, not my father of course. Let’s leave my brother out too. Actually let’s just leave out all my male relatives. And also the administration and accounts guys who pay my salary. Let me not forget my bosses or my juniors. I won’t be able to work without them. Let me not include my Clients either. I will not have any work to do otherwise.

Hmmm. In fact, let’s just leave out most of the men I deal with in my life. And since I don’t care about the ones I don’t deal with or haven’t met, let’s leave them out too.

Actually, it’s just him I am angry with.

Damn HIM to hell.

You hurt me again and again. And dammit, I let you.

So? Did you try hard as me?
To try and escape destiny
So? Are you still running away?
From what it seems is there to stay

Nothing tries my patience than inept people in an ATM. I mean how much time does one need to put in the card, key in the code and the amount of money one wants to withdraw, collect the money and then the card? 30 sec tops.

What’s with all the fumbling with the card? Just put the damn card in. How difficult can it be? And if you’re one of those people who are enamoured by the sight of the card going in and out, do it at some other time for heaven’s sake. Like at 3 am. (Frankly, I could never understand the joy of going up and down an escalator or an elevator. Or for the matter, putting a debit card in and taking it out in an ATM)

I have been a part of young giggly groups, but never at the cost of someone standing behind me in line. I have also found the most inane of situations funny, but what could be funny in an ATM! And that too for 5 minutes? I mean what on earth can you giggle about for five minutes in an ATM?

The worst in my opinion is the aunty who pushes you in the line and insists that she came first. You fight against your rising temper and politely allow her to enter the ATM first. After all, you were brought up to be well-mannered person. But what the hell takes her so much time? And when you politely knock at the door and request her to hurry up, she glares at you. Five minutes later when you ask her how much time more time will she be taking, she just flares up. And then she has the nerve to say that you are rude!

Even blogging about this has raised my blood pressure several notches higher. I am thinking of initiating an ATM usage awareness campaign. Any media people willing to give me free space? I would pay you but I refuse to go to an ATM machine before conditions improve!

I have a song for everybody I know. Not the same song of course, but different songs for different people. It’s not a conscious allocation. I have not deliberately decided that a particular song goes with a certain person. Also, there’s no logic to the allocation. For instance, my song for my mother is not a lullaby that she sang to me often but ‘Killing me softly’. I think she sang it to my father once, a small tender moment now lost in the past. But that stuck in my head, the hazy memory and the song.

Over the years, I have lost touch with some people. Days and months may pass by without me giving them a thought. But a few strains from a song (one of the songs allocated to them in my mind) and the memories come flashing back.

The song that’s been in my head today made me think of him…..

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper ‘I love
singin' in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Yes, sometimes I do think of you. Still.